Today's stories [4.2.09]
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Sign on a church bulletin board:
You aren't too bad to come in, You aren't good enough to stay out.
There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her
what is wrong in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this senior
citizen handled it.
An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached
the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded office and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in
this roomful of people. You should have said there is something wrong with
your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the
doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others,
if the answer could embarrass anyone." The man walked out, waited several
minutes and then re-entered.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her
advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The doctor's office erupted in laughter.
Men do have trouble hearing women
Men who are accused of never listening by women now have an excuse -
women's voices are more difficult for men to listen to than other men's.
Reports say researchers at Sheffield University in northern England have
discovered startling differences in the way the brain responds to male and
The research shows men decipher female voices using the auditory part of
the brain that processes music, while male voices engage a simpler mechanism.
The Daily Mail quotes researcher Michael Hunter as saying, "the female
voice is actually more complex than the male voice, due to differences in
the size and shape of the vocal cords and larynx between men and women, and
also due to women having greater natural 'melody' in their voices".
"This causes a more complex range of sound frequencies than in a male
voice," Mr Hunter said. The report says the findings may help explain why
people suffering hallucinations usually hear male voices - the brain may
find it much harder to conjure up a false female voice accurately than a
false male voice. The research is published in the specialist magazine
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