Today's stories [4.19.09]

Vote for the story that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to story categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your story reading.

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, give a smile, and a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."  He said
that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart 
comment.
Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking
with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no
Ma'am," said the pilot, "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we
land or were we shot down?"

My high school friend, Janet, and I roomed together at 
college. We started in the summer as soon as we left 
high school.

She met her husband Leo there in the Fall; he was a 
Junior and we were 18-year-old innocents.  They married 
on New Year's Eve so they could have a few days off 
together from work and school.

New Year's Day afternoon I got a call from her to come 
over quick; they had the flu so bad they couldn't 
get up and were too bashful to call anyone else to help.

For a day or two I repeatedly washed and dryed their 
sheets and jammies and heated up soup and brought them 
juice and kleenex. While they slept I read a book. 

It's really funny now, but it wasn't then.

Two weeks later I met Dale.  On the 3rd of July, Janet 
was maid of honor at our wedding.  

So what I knew about honeymoons was that you eat soup 
and cough and sleep and read a book and take your 
jammies off and on a lot, and sweat and moan and 
somebody gets a headache and you wash and dry the sheets 
a lot and eventually you run out of juice. 

Ours was kind of like that, too.  

ha ha ha ha ha.

p.s.  Happy 50th Birthday, Janet!  We just sent this 
email all over the internet!


Love you both!

Anne and Dale in Orlando


Sent by Anne

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake
City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was
quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here to tell you 
it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the
flight attendant's fault.....it was the asphalt!"

By voting you are helping select today's best story. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best stories to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Poems Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   April '09 Stories Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30