Today's stories [4.17.09]

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Dear All,

The Leaders of the world are asking for your support to combat terrorism 
and we're encouraging to demonstrate against the terrorists this Friday 
at 15:00 hours.

It is a well-known fact that the terrorists are against alcohol 
consumption and think it is sinful to look at a naked woman. Therefore, 
at 15:00 this Friday, all women should run naked through the office while 
men chase them with a beer in their hands. This, we are told, is the best 
way to show our disgust for the fanatics and will hopefully help us in 
detecting the terrorists among us.

Remember, you are either with us ... or against us. Your efforts are much 
appreciated in the name of a free, democratic world.

Thank you.

Wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun, a thief burst into the
bank one day.  Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,
"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS,  THIS IS A ****-UP!"  For a moment, 
everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard
completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved
his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't
have drawn and fired before the thief got him.  The would-be
thief ran away and is still at large.

SNOW REPORT . . . 

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very 
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think 
before she speaks. 

True story...we had a female news anchor who, the day after it was 
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they 
were laughing so hard!

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