Today's stories [4.14.09]

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If you had bought $1000 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now 
be worth $49. If you had bought $1000 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not 
the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, and traded in the cans at a 
redemption center for the nickel deposit, you would have $107.

Given the current conditions of the economy, my advice is to drink 
heavily and recycle.

A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a 
telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here."
The message received by wife: "I wish you were her."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father
and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

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