Today's stories [4.13.09]
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At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
instructed. "Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
Volunteer Fire Department
A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire
department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The
fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle,
so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called.
Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call
The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck.
They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the
flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically
started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the
center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable
The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work
and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the
volunteer fire department with a check for $1000.
A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the
department planned to do with the funds.
"That should be obvious," he responded, "the first thing we're gonna do
is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck."
I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if telephone
solicitors weren't able to call people at home during dinner hour.
But that doesn't make it any more pleasant.
Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco Chronicle, has
proposed "Three Little Words" based on his brief experience in a
telemarketing operation that would stop the nuisance for all time. The
three little words are "Hold On, Please."
Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off instead of
hanging up immediately would make each telemarketing call so time-
consuming that boiler rooms would grind to a halt. When you eventually
hear the phone company's beep-beep-beep tone, you know it's time to go
back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
This might be one of those articles you'll want to e-mail to your
friends. Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting.
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