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Today's poems [4.9.09]

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                               Do Re Mi Drink
DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME...... the one who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH


I'm sure you can imagine 
As plain as can be 
The place is Piccadilly 
The players He and She.

She whispered "will it hurt me?" 
"Of course not" answered he 
"It's a very simple process, 
You can rely on me." 

She said "I'm very frightened, 
I've not had this before. 
My friend has had it five times 
And said it can be sore". 

Then finally contended 
Lay back and relax a bit 
Quickly and readily he bent over her 
And then he started it. 

It was growing rather painful 
Tears formed in her eyes 
It was hurting quite a bit now 
It must have been quite a size. 

"Calm yourself" he whispered 
His face was filled with a grin 
"Try and open a bit wider 
So I can get it in". 

"It's coming now" he whispered 
"I know" she cried in bliss 
Feeling it deep within her now 
She said "I am glad I am having this". 

And with a final effort 
She gave a frightened shout 
He gripped it in anguish 
And quickly pulled it out. 

She lay back quite contended 
Sighed and gave a smile 
She said "I'm glad I came now 
You made it worth my while". 

Now if you read this carefully 
The dentist you will find 
Is not what you imagined 
It's just your dirty mind! 


            There was a young brother monastic 
            Whose penis was somewhat elastic. 
                So when it uncoiled, 
                With a snap it recoiled, 
            Interrupting his studies scholastic. 


There was a young fellow named Sweeney 
               Whose girl was a terrible meanie. 
                    The hatch of her snatch 
                    Had a catch that would latch--- 
               She could only be screwed by Houdini. 


               Under the spreading chestnut tree 
               The village smith he sat, 
                    Amusing himself 
                    By abusing himself 
               And catching the load in his hat. 


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