Today's poems [4.9.09]
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Do Re Mi Drink
DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME...... the one who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH
I'm sure you can imagine
As plain as can be
The place is Piccadilly
The players He and She.
She whispered "will it hurt me?"
"Of course not" answered he
"It's a very simple process,
You can rely on me."
She said "I'm very frightened,
I've not had this before.
My friend has had it five times
And said it can be sore".
Then finally contended
Lay back and relax a bit
Quickly and readily he bent over her
And then he started it.
It was growing rather painful
Tears formed in her eyes
It was hurting quite a bit now
It must have been quite a size.
"Calm yourself" he whispered
His face was filled with a grin
"Try and open a bit wider
So I can get it in".
"It's coming now" he whispered
"I know" she cried in bliss
Feeling it deep within her now
She said "I am glad I am having this".
And with a final effort
She gave a frightened shout
He gripped it in anguish
And quickly pulled it out.
She lay back quite contended
Sighed and gave a smile
She said "I'm glad I came now
You made it worth my while".
Now if you read this carefully
The dentist you will find
Is not what you imagined
It's just your dirty mind!
There was a young brother monastic
Whose penis was somewhat elastic.
So when it uncoiled,
With a snap it recoiled,
Interrupting his studies scholastic.
There was a young fellow named Sweeney
Whose girl was a terrible meanie.
The hatch of her snatch
Had a catch that would latch---
She could only be screwed by Houdini.
Under the spreading chestnut tree
The village smith he sat,
By abusing himself
And catching the load in his hat.
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