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Today's poems [4.8.09]

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A habit uncouth and unsav'ry, 
               Kept the Bishop of Essex in slav'ry, 
                    Midst shrieks, hoots, and howls, 
                    He'd bugger large owls, 
               Which he kept in an underground av'ry.

1. 




There was an old harlot of Wick
Who was sucking a coal miner's prick
She said, "I don't mind
The coal dust and grime,
But the smell of your balls makes me sick."

2. 




               An innocent boy in Lapland 
               Was told that friggin' was grand. 
                    But at his first trial 
                    He said with a smile, 
               "I've had the same feeling by hand." 

3. 




I met her on the internet and I couldn't keep from staring
She had the coolest font I'd ever seen
She was Microsoft, mathmatical, and IBM compatible
And fireworks exploded on my screen
Well, my cursor started blinking like the beating of my heart
And my modem started singing, thinking this could be the start
Chorus:
Of a Techie Love -- between us
With the latest gadgetry
Techie love can be the sweetest
world wide web we weave

Well I courted her with e-mail and with roses from my clip art
I sent romantic faxes everyday
Though I'm kinda shy to tell, heck, I wrote poems that I spell checked
And I bought her software from Comp USA
We were wonderful together how she made me feel so fine 
And we planned a simple wedding on America On-Line

Chorus: And there was techie love between us.......

Then one day there was lightning and it caused some power surges
And you should have seen the look upon my face
Cause I wasn't surge protected, or backed up like you'd expect, it
blew my files somewhere out to cyberspace
Well now nothing lasts forever, I know even good things pass,
So I knew that it was over on the day the hard drive crashed
Chorus: On the techie love between us.......

She's gone, and it megahertz
It's like a virus, only worse
She's gone, but I can't wait
I'll get a new computer that has windows Y2K

Chorus: And there'll be techie love........

c 1998 Mark Hankins

4. 




There once was a girl named Miss Nokes, 
Who showed her behind to the folks. 
Everyone cheered, 
And a vendor appeared 
Selling hotdogs and popcorn and Cokes. 

5. 



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