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Today's poems [4.3.09]

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An old maiden who barely did kissing,
Soon discovered what she had been missing.
When laid down on the sod,
She cried out, "Oh, God!
All these years I just used it for pissing!" 

1. 




There was a young girl from Odessa, 
            A rather unblushing transgressor. 
                When sent to the priest 
                The lewd little beast 
            Began to undress her confessor. 

2. 




Father



 Father, don't I have to work?
 No, my lucky son.
 We're living now on Easy Street,
 on dough from Washington.

 We've left things up to Uncle Sam,
 so don't get exercised.
 No-one has to give a damn.
 We've all been subsidized!

 But if Sam treats us all so well,
 and feeds us milk and honey,
 please, Daddy, tell me what the hell
 He's going to do for money?

 Don't worry, Bub, there's not a hitch
 in this-here noble plan.
 We merely soak the Filthy Rich
 and feed the Common Man.

 But, Daddy, won't there come a time
 when they'll run out of cash?
 And we'll have left, then, not a dime
 and things will go to smash?!

 My faith in you is shrinking, son,
 you nosey little brat!
 You do too damned much thinking, son,
 to be a Democrat!




3. 




               A geologist named Dr. Robb 
               Was perturbed by his thingamabob, 
                    So he took up his pick 
                    And whanged off his wick, 
               And calmly went on with his job. 

4. 




                                        There was a young lass from Ignatius 
                                        Who lived in a garret quite spacious. 
                                                      When she went to here auntie's 
                                                      She always wore panties, 
                                        But alone in her garret,---good gracious. 

5. 



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