Today's poems [4.29.09]

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Said a Palestine pilgrim named Wadham, 
               "For religion I don't give a Goddem! 
                    I've frequently peed in 
                    The Garden of Eden, 
               And buggered my guide when in Sodom." 

There were three ladies of Huxham, 
And whenever we meets 'em we fucks 'em, 
And when that game grows stale 
We sits on a rail, 
And pulls out our pricks and they sucks 'em. 

There was a young man from Venice 
            Who played a good game of lawn tennis. 
                But the game he liked best, 
                Far more than the rest, 
            Was played with two balls and a pennis. 

On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.

Spurred on by a very high wager
With an envious Lieutenant Major,
Ben proceeded to fart
The complete oboe part
Of the Hayden Octet in B-Major. 

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