Today's poems [4.18.09]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
There was a young fellow of Perth
Whose balls were the finest on earth.
They grew to such size
That one won a prize,
And goodness knows what they were worth.
I'LL KEEP YOUR CLOTHES
At first when we were dating
You would bring a rose
And as a ritual of mating
Leave behind some clothes
It seemed a cute formality
it put me in love's throws
It had a wondrous quality
"Yeah! I'll keep your clothes."
You'd leave sexy underwear
The type that made you strut and pose
You'd toss them in my corner chair
I teased, "I'll keep your clothes"
Then there came some rainy washes
and some days of heavy snows
You'd leave raincoats and galoshes
I said, "Sure. I'll keep your clothes"
Add T-shirts with a beer slogan
or an alien head that glows
or a samurai from Shogun
I said, "OK...I'll keep your clothes"
I left you little notes
"Hey, my closet overflows"
"I've boxed up all my coats!"
But, still, I keep your clothes
One day you showed up with a wagon
And a couple of cheap ho's
You said, "Baby, I'm baggin'"
I said, "Oh, yeah? I'll keep your
You really blew your stack
You said, "Hey! This really blows!
What are you? On crack?"
I just said, "I'll keep your clothes"
You cried, "What am I to wear?"
I said, "Who cares? Who knows?
You've been a sorry ass affair.
At least I'll keep your clothes"
The underwear so fine
I'll hold for other joes
The jeans that are now mine
They'll fit. I'll keep your clothes.
The shirts that look like bags
The socks with ripped up toes
I'll use them up as rags
What fun to keep your clothes!
So, be nice to your ex-girlfriends
Watch where you put your nose
And be kind when the love ends
Or else, we'll keep your clothes
From the book: THE LOVE POEMS OF THE
FEMINIST FROM THE DARKSIDE by Fembah
I'd willingly fertilize Mary,
And watch for nine months her shape vary,
From the very first day,
To the child-birth display,
When her tits would turn into a dairy.
There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"
There once was old Chinese drunk,
Who set sail away on his junk,
While dreaming of Venus,
He played with his penis,
Till he floated away in the spunk.
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30