Today's poems [4.17.09]

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               "Last night," said a lassie named Ruth, 
               "In a long-distance telephone booth, 
                    I enjoyed the perfection 
                    Of an ideal connection--- 
               I was screwed, if you must know the truth." 

There was a young man named McFee
Who was stung in the balls by a bee.
He made oodles of money
By oozing pure honey
Every time he attempted to pee.

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny.

                    There once was a man from Dundee
                            
                    Who was fucking an ape in a tree.
                            The results were most horrid:
                            All ass and no forehead,
                            
                    Three balls and a purple goatee!

In the Garden of Eden lies Adam,
peacefully stroking his madam.
He does so with mirth,
for on all of this Earth,
there were only two tits
and he had 'em! 

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