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Today's poems [4.15.09]

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There was a young lady of Spain 
Who took down her pants on a train. 
There was a young porter 
Saw more than he orter, 
And asked her to do it again. 

1. 




Said a lesbian lady, "It's sad; 
               Of all of the girls that I've had, 
                    None gave me the thrill 
                    Of real rapture until 
               I learned how to be a tribade." 

2. 




There was a young lady named Maude 
            A terrible society fraud: 
                In company, I'm told 
                She was awfully cold. 
            But if you got her alone, Oh My God! 

3. 




               There once was a fellow named Siegel 
               Who attempted to bugger a beagle, 
                    But the mettlesome bitch 
                    Turned and said with a twitch, 
               "It's fun, but you know it's illegal." 

4. 




On his honeymoon sailing the ocean 
               A tightwad displayed much emotion 
                    When he learned, one fine day, 
                    He'd been fucking away 
               What could have been bottled as lotion. 

5. 



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