Today's poems [4.12.09]

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There was an old spinster of Tyre 
            Who bellowed, "My cunt is on fire!" 
                So a fireman was found, 
                Brought his engine around, 
            And extinguished her burning desire. 

There was an old man of Tantivy 
               Who followed his son to the privy. 
                    He lifted the lid 
                    To see what he did, 
               And found that it smelt of Capivi. 

There was a young man who preferred 
               Having sex with some kind of a bird. 
                    The rarer the species, 
                    And the fuller of feces, 
               The better---that guy really loved turd. 

A corpulent lady named Kroll
Had an idea exceedingly droll:
She went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
And backed in as a Parker House roll.

               There was a young fellow named Chivy 
               Who, whenever he went to the privy, 
                    First solaced his mind, 
                    And then wiped his behind 
               With some well-chosen pages of Livy 

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