Today's jokes [4.5.09]

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Once upon a time there was this guy who bought a hang glider and took it 
out to the mountains to fly it. He was cruising along a few hundred feet 
above the treetops when he spots these two hunters down below.
He hollers and waves at them, trying to be sociable. Suddenly the hunters 
look up and they both fire their double barrel shotguns at him.
When the hang glider was out of sight one of the hunters turns to the 
other and says "What kinda bird you reckon that was?"
The other hunter replies "I don't rightly know, but I think we hit it.
"How's that?"
"You saw how fast he dropped that man he was caring, didn't ya?

Guess what? You're pregnant! 

What happened to the Pope when he visited Mount Olive? 

     - Popeye almost killed him. 

New scientific theories

GRAND PRIZE WINNER:  When a cat is dropped, it ALWAYS lands on its
feet; and when toast is dropped, it ALWAYS lands with the buttered
side facing down. Therefore, I propose to strap buttered toast to the
back of a cat.  When dropped, the two will hover, spinning inches above the
ground, probably into eternity. A "buttered-cat array" could replace
pneumatic tires on cars and trucks, and "giant buttered-cat arrays"
could easily allow a high-speed monorail linking New York with Chicago.

During training exercises, the lieutenant driving down a muddy
back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a 
red faced colonel at the wheel.  "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked
the lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

"Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and handing him the
keys, "*Yours* is."

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