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Today's jokes [4.30.09]

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The moon shown silver on the waters of the lake, and the waves that were 
beating on the shore were hardly equal in intensity to the waves of 
passion nearby. One ardent couple paused long enough for the young man to
whisper, "Darling am I the first man to make love to you ?"
Her tone upon answering was slightly more than irritable. "Of course you 
are!" she said. "And also the best too. I don't know why you men always 
ask the same old ridiculous questions."


After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford
a larger double-wide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him
that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. 

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. 
The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in 'Bama), light 
it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. 

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting 
a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." 

So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about 
to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. 
This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer
can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. 

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb 
and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. 
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and 
resumed counting on his other hand... 


If the bird of wisdom is an owl, and the bird of peace 
is the dove, what is the bird of TRUE love?

The Swallow. 

Sent by Denise


Q. Why did congress enact the Marine Corps?
A. So, the sailors would have someone to dance with!


Why did the pervert cross the road?

He had his dick stuck in the chicken.


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