Today's jokes [4.27.09]

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Mother-in-law: I baked two kinds of cookies today. Would you like to take
your pick?
Son-in-law: No thanks. I'll just use the hammer.

   Following a bitter divorce a husband saw his wife at a party and
   sneered, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
   
   The wife simply sighed and replied, "Yes, dear, I know, but I was in
   love and didn't really notice."

Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said "Please give me a
prescription for the Pill."
"I don't think you need the Pill at your age."
"It relaxes me."
"But you know the 'purpose' of the Pill. It's not for
relaxing," exclaimed the physician.
"I know," said Mrs Ogden, "but my daughter dates, and every
morning I drop one in her orange juice. Believe me, I feel
more relaxed. 

A couple was delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came 
to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful 
Japanese baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way 
home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they 
each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the 
registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Japanese?" 
The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Japanese baby and in a year or 
so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him".

A guy walks into his doctor and says,
"Doc, you gotta help me, I can't remember anything!"
The doc asks, "How long have you had this problem?"

The guy says, "What problem?"

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