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Today's jokes [4.26.09]

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Did you hear about the woman who only had two chances to get pregnant?

She blew them both...

1. 




   YOU KNOW WHEN THE POST OFFICE IS HIRING WHEN THE FLAG OUT
   FRONT IS AT HALF MAST.
   THE POSTAL WORKERS WANT HAZZARD PAY AND WORKERS COMP FOR SLIPPING ON
   SHELL CASINGS


2. 




A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend
had proposed but she had turned him down because she found
out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell.
"Marry him anyway, dear." the Mother said. "Between the two
of us, we'll show him just how *wrong* he is."

3. 




Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach
   a four-way stop at the same time?

A: The pickup truck with the gun rack and the bumper
   sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."



4. 




Why did God give men larger brains than dogs? 

     So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. 

5. 



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