Today's jokes [4.20.09]

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Rabbit's Ph.D. Thesis:

                                A Parable for Graduate Students



Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside
his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.

Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"

Rabbit: "My thesis."

Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"

Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
(incredulous pause)

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."

Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the
rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
(loud guffaws)

Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit
returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Scene: Inside the rabbit's burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox 
bones.  In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the 
room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.

   (The End)

 Moral:
    It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
    It doesn't matter what you use for data.
    What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.

                             State of Arkansas
                                      
                           Residency Application
     
   
   Name: ________________  (_) Billy-Bob
             (last)        (_) Billy-Joe
                           (_) Billy-Ray
                           (_) Billy-Sue
                           (_) Billy-Mae
                           (_) Billy-Jack
                           (Check appropriate box)

   Age: ____
   Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
   Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right

   Occupation:
   (_) Farmer
   (_) Mechanic
   (_) Hair Dresser
   (_) Un-employed

   Spouse's Name: 

   Relationship with spouse:
   (_) Sister
   (_) Brother
   (_) Aunt
   (_) Uncle
   (_) Cousin
   (_) Mother
   (_) Father
   (_) Son
   (_) Daughter
   (_) Pet

   Number of children living in household: ___

   Number that are yours: ___

   Mother's Name: 

   Father's Name:  (If not sure, leave blank)

   Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

   Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home?  (Check appropriate box)

   ___ Total number of vehicles you own
   ___ Number of vehicles that still crank
   ___ Number of vehicles in front yard
   ___ Number of vehicles in back yard
   ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks

   Firearms you own and where you keep them:
   ____ truck
   ____ bedroom
   ____ bathroom
   ____ kitchen
   ____ shed

   Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_

   Do you have a gun rack?
   (_) Yes (_) No; please explain:



   Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
   (_) The National Enquirer
   (_) The Globe
   (_) TV Guide
   (_) Soap Opera Digest
   (_) Rifle and Shotgun

   ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
   ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
   ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO

   How often do you bathe:
   (_)Weekly
   (_)Monthly
   (_)Not Applicable

   Color of teeth:
   (_)Yellow
   (_)Brownish-Yellow
   (_)Brown
   (_)Black
   (_)N/A

   Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
   (_)Red-Man

   How far is your home from a paved road?
   (_)1 mile
   (_)2 miles
   (_)don't know
  

Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by
the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"

"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."

"Oh?  And what does your father do?"

"He's in the Army, sir."

How is pubic hair like parsley?

You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
A: Somebody dropped a shekel.

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