Today's jokes [4.20.09]
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Rabbit's Ph.D. Thesis:
A Parable for Graduate Students
Scene: It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside
his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter.
Along comes a fox, out for a walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmmm. What's it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes."
Rabbit: "Sure they do, and I can prove it. Come with me."
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, the
rabbit returns, alone, to his typewriter and resumes typing.
Soon, a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you're writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit
returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.
Scene: Inside the rabbit's burrow. In one corner, there is a pile of fox
bones. In another corner, a pile of wolf bones. On the other side of the
room, a huge lion is belching and picking his teeth.
It doesn't matter what you choose for a thesis subject.
It doesn't matter what you use for data.
What does matter is who you have for a thesis advisor.
State of Arkansas
Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob
(last) (_) Billy-Joe
(Check appropriate box)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
(_) Hair Dresser
Relationship with spouse:
Number of children living in household: ___
Number that are yours: ___
Father's Name: (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
___ Total number of vehicles you own
___ Number of vehicles that still crank
___ Number of vehicles in front yard
___ Number of vehicles in back yard
___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
How often do you bathe:
Color of teeth:
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
How far is your home from a paved road?
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by
the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, sir."
How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.
Q: Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
A: Somebody dropped a shekel.
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