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Today's jokes [4.17.09]

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What was the First Commandment?

"Adam, eat my pussy." 


   The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent
   marriage annulled. "On what grounds ?" questioned the Judge, "This
   court does not take annulments lightly."
   "Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I
   thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had
   married a wide receiver."


What is the meaning of life?

All evidence to date suggests it's chocolate.


Chaim escapes from a mental hospital and goes to the train station. He 
gets on the train and is seated next to a business man. He asks the man, 
"Are you Jewish?" The man says, "No." Joe apologizes. Ten minutes later, 
he asks, "You wouldn't happen to be Jewish would you?" The man replies, 
"No!" Joe immediately apologizes. Five minutes later he says, " Can I ask 
you a personal question....are you Jewish?" He shots, "NO!" Joe continues
like this for the next four hours. When the train stops, the man runs 
away. When he gets to the hotel, he realizes there is someone next to him. 
It is Joe. Joe asks, Say, are you Jewish?" The man is so fed up that he 
says, "Yes." Joe says, "That's don't look Jewish at all!"


Why did God create man first? 

     So he wouldn't have to be told how to do it.


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