Today's jokes [4.14.09]
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While in prison O.J. had another prisoner join him in his
cell. This person was 8' tall and 670 lbs. of solid muscle.
He asked O.J. if he wanted to be the husband or the wife.
Now O.J. not being stupid started reasoning in his mind "OK
if I say I'm going to be the wife, this guy is going to fuck
me in the ass." So O.J. said he was going to be the husband.
The other prisoner said, OK O.J. your the husband. Now get
over here and suck your wife's dick."
A farmer goes to confession for the first time in twenty years and
tells the priest he's been having sexual intercourse with a pig ever
since his wife died.
The priest asks him if he intends to continue doing it and whether the
pig is a male or female.
"No! I'm not doing it anymore!" says the farmer. "And the pig is a
female, of course. What the hell do you think I am -- a goddam queer?
A horny young man went to a brothel... The lady at the counter asked him
what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available.
Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky
and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses...they are all
buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers....
Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor."
Madam, "Are you sure... I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to
ex-models and ex-actresses."
Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and
over again, until you're perfect at it."
Q: Who makes more money, a whore or a drug pusher?
A: The whore because she can lick her crack and use it again.
A man comes home early from work and finds his wife and his best
friend in bed. The man throws up his hands in disbelief and says, "My
God Pete !!! I more-or-less 'have to', but YOU ???"
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