Today's jokes [4.1.09]
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Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in
back. Herb says to Sam, "Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night
and had the best meal ever. Good prices too."
Sam says, "Well, we like to eat out too. What was the name of the
Herb says, "You'll going to have to help me out here a little. What's
the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?"
Sam says, "How about rose?"
"Yes, yes, that's it!" cries Herb, then calls ahead to his wife.
"Rose. Hey, Rose. What was the name of the restaurant we ate at last
The child was a typical four-year-old girl - cute, inquisitive, bright
as a new penny. When she expressed difficulty in grasping the concept
of marriage, her father decided to pull out his wedding photo album,
thinking visual images would help.
One page after another, he pointed out the bride arriving at the church,
the entrance, the wedding ceremony, the recessional, the reception, etc.
"Now do you understand?" he asked.
"I think so," she said, "is that when mommy came to work for us?"
How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.
When the milkman found a note on one of his customer's
doors asking for 16 gallons instead of the usual quart,
he rang the bell.
"Sorry to bother you, ma'am," he said, "but are you sure
you want sixteen gallons of milk today?"
"Oh, yes," said the lady of the house. "I'm going to take
a milk bath."
"Do you want it pasteurized?"
"No, just up to my tits would be fine."
A guy meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her
place for the night. Her parents are out of town and this is the perfect
They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom. When the guy
walks in the door, he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds of
them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and
window sill, there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over
Later after they've had sex, he turns to her and asks "So, how was I?"
She says "Well ... you can take anything from the bottom shelf."
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