Today's stories [3.6.09]
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In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the
animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is
punishable by death.
My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first
mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet
doors was ajar.I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why
she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the
kitchen??? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me
that those were for special occasions".
Now fast forward a few months...
It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and
his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were
Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first
and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then
began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came
mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on
the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork
carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they
didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the
other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were
for special occasions!"
Hitting on the novel idea that he could end his wife's incessant nagging
by giving her a good scare, Hungarian Jake Fen built an elaborate harness
to make it look as if he had hanged himself.
When his wife came home and saw him she fainted. Hearing a disturbance a
neighbor came over and, finding what she thought were two corpses, seized
the opportunity to loot the place. As she was leaving the room, her arms
laden, the outraged and suspended Mr. Fen kicked her stoutly in the
backside. This so surprised the lady that she dropped dead of a heart
attack. Happily, Mr. Fen was acquitted of manslaughter and he and his wife
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