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Today's stories [3.23.09]

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   Women ! Who can figure 'em out ? Now that the kids are grown and gone,
   my wife sez she needs more "outside interests". I thought I'd surprise
   her and presented her with a brand new fancy lawn mower, just the
   other day.
   
   Now, she's mad with me.


1. 




Before I left army basic training in Louisiana, for my
next duty station in Texas, my drill sergeant asked me:
"Son, you know how to find Texas?"
I said "I'm not sure, drill sergeant."
"Well" he says, "you go west till you smell shit."
"Thats Oklahoma"
"Then you turn south 'til you step in it."
"That's Texas."

2. 




It is said that P. T. Barnum, the famed circus magnate, hung a large sign 
over one of the exits of his museum which read, "This way to the egress."  
Many people in the crowds, eager to see what an egress looked like, passed 
through the door and found themselves out on the street.

3. 



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