Today's stories [3.21.09]
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A friend of mine said he and his son were at the grocery store
when his son (about 9) asked him what "Oriole sex" was. I
told him the store wasn't a proper place to talk about it, but
I'd explain it to him on the way home. On the way, I decided to
tell the truth and explain it fairly graphic and clinical. I thought
I did pretty good until my son said, "Oh, you mean like a blow
The British Military writes OFR's (officer fitness
reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is
the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's
"206's".... His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of
curiosity. I would not breed from this Officer. This Officer is really
not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be. When she
opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot
was previously in there. He has carried out each and every one of his
duties to his entire satisfaction. He would be out of his depth in a
car park puddle. Technically sound, but socially impossible. This
Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around
at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere. This young lady has
delusions of adequacy. When he joined my ship, this Officer was
something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably. Since my
last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig. She
sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
them. He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age. In my
opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in
a trap This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. Only
occasionally wets himself under pressure
True story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech Rep: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty
period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech Rep: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech Rep: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How
did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point the Tech Rep had
to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been
using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it
off the drive.
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