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Today's stories [3.19.09]

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Long ago in Israel the wisest man, a great philopher and thinker, was 
holding audience. Everyone was there - the hall was packed out - 
politicians at the front, professionals, doctors, lawyers next, then 
businessmen, etc., with lesser beings further and further away. 

He intones his most famous and deepest saying: "Life is like a fish". 
Everyone murmers in obedient and respectful agreement "How wise", "What a 
thinker", "How true", "What a man". 

At the very back of hall, a callow, spotty youth - a freshman probably, 
sticks his hand up and asks "Why?". Absolute horror around the hall... 
They stare round enraged at him "How can he question the great man?", "Has 
he no sense at all?". They stare back anxiously at the great man - what 
will he do? He doesn't react, just sits there, pondering. The atmosphere 
is electric. After ten minutes of deep thought, the great man looks up, 
the audience expectant with bated breathe. He speaks. "Alright, so it's 
not like a fish".

1. 




Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and 
smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.


2. 




[San Jose Mercury News]
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former
girlfriend's windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.



3. 



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