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Today's stories [3.18.09]

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I had a uncle one time who left my little brother who was three years old in his
jeep by himself while he ran in the house to use the pisser and he gave direct
instructions that whatever happened dont spill the coffe we'll my brother really
looked up to our uncle so he wasnt going to let anythign happen to the coffe and
he did just that he accidently kicked the jeep in to geer and it rolled down
the hill and he didnt try to stop it he jumped out and ran in to tell my uncle
what a good job of protecting his coffe he did while the jeep lay at the bottom
of the hill wrecked.Weird but true

Sent by Matt


The re-release of George Lucas' "Star Wars" over the raked in millions.
"This came as a relief to Princess Leia who had fallen on hard times
and was considering becoming a spokeswoman for Weight Watchers and Ocean
Spray." (Joshua Sostrin)
Says Paul Ecker, "Teenagers all over the country are asking the same
question: Who's Mark Hamill?"
The film was enhanced with even more special effects. "In a related move,
Sweden will re-release Ingmar Bergman's films "enhanced with even more
gloom,'" (Michael Edens)


Then there was the psychology professor, a Yankee's Yankee
and a feminist's feminist, who tells the following story
about herself to illustrate that doctorates don't necessarily
make you smart.
She was driving to a workshop in Atlanta from her home in Ohio.
It was about 10 am, and she'd been driving the entire preceding
day and night herself, and she was consequently not in the best
of tempers as she searched for a motel in which to crash.
A Georgia state policeman pulled her over, got out of his cruiser,
swaggered up to her driver's window, bent down, and drawled,
"Lookie here, darlin',"--uh oh, everybody duck--"Lookie here, darlin',
nobody blows through Georgia that fast."
Said the feminist Yankee overtired psychology professor: "Sherman did."

She says he was not satisfied merely to give her a speeding ticket;
he made her follow him fifty miles out of her way to Nowheresburg, GA,
and wait at the police station until three in the afternoon for a
circuit judge to arrive so that he could explain to her why it wasn't
the best idea in the world to be impolite to policemen, who were after
all interested only in creating the safest possible environment for
everybody including her, etc. etc. The lecture went on for about two
hours, she says, after which she was released to drive the fifty miles
back to her route and resume her search for someplace to crash. 


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