Today's poems [3.3.09]

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Bob, the zookeeper from Bath,
was known to have trained a giraffe,
to sit on its knees
and stay still with ease
while poked with his very long staff


Sent by Dan

Clare, Clare I'm so aware,
how you flutter your eyes at me. 
But what about my wife Sue? 
I really dont know what to do.
Should I run or try and screw?

Do you mean it?
You're such a tease.
You have a boyfriend
but I don't like threes.

The other men at my work,
like you too, you're such a perk,
jerking off their trouser snakes,
at your photo, during breaks.


Sent by Dan

A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud.  
    
 A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound just like a song. 
    
Some farts do not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger awhile.   
    
 A fart can create
A most-curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, but deadly. 
    
A fart can occur
In a number of places,
And leave everyone
With strange looks on their faces.   
    
From wide-open prairies,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of us 
Sooner or later. 
    
So be not afraid
Of the invisible gas,
For always remember,
That farts, too, shall pass.   
 

Sent by Mario

There was once a prostitute named Sue
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin
If they pay to get in
And they'll pay to get out too.

There once was a man from China
Who wasn't a very good climber 
He slipped of a rock 
And chopped of his cock
And now he's got a vagina.

Sent by Quise

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