Today's poems [3.25.09]
Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.
It was under the old apple tree
That she first showed it to me.
It was ever so hot,
It was shaped like a slot,
But it looked like a subway to me.
With a twinlke so full in her eye,
She craftily mangled my fly.
Out popped a tool
That was long as a rule
And she sank to her knees with a sigh.
She proceeded to lube up my tool
With lots of her natural drool.
My knees gave a shake,
My breath hard to make,
And my tool throbbed away like a fool.
With a magnificent shake of her head,
She threw me down onto the bed.
The apples so round,
The leaves on the ground
Made my tool like a sail on the Med.
The subway engulfed all my tool.
She rocked like she's riding a mule.
My tool gave a jerk,
Let out a hot squrt,
And flooded her subway with jooul.
As the sun sank slow in the west,
She rose up and off of my chest.
The tool flopped out bent
It was terribly spent--
She absorbed all the best of the rest!
A contortionist hailing from Lynch
Used to rent out his tool by the inch.
A foot cost a quid---
He could and he did
Stretch it to three in a pinch.
On clinkers his choice often fell,
Or clabbered piss brought to a jell.
When these palled to his tastes,
He tried snot and turd-paste,
And found them delicious as well.
There was a young man from Lyme
Who couldn't get limericks to sound right.
When asked why not
It was said that he thought
They were overly long and far to complex, possibly even dull.
Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired;
And asked to explain why she was hired.
"The executive's dong
Is only four inches long.
I thought shorthand was all he required"
By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.
Today's JokesToday's StoriesToday's QuotesToday's Funny Pic
S M T W Th F St
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29