Today's poems [3.19.09]

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There once was a man from Nepal 
Whose turds were exceedingly small. 
He'd sit in his room 
And shit on a spoon 
And then flick his turds down the hall. 

Said an old lady called Mary Tabott,
"I wish I had teeth in my twat.
For just think" said she,
"how nice it would be
To keep all the pricks that I got." 

There was a young lady of Sturky
Who had an affair with a darkie.
The results of their sins
Were quadruplets, not twins,
One black, and two white, and one khaki.

There was a sad prude out in Iowa 
               Who would say, "Please say it my way: 
                    Do not say fuck, 
                    It don't rhyme with duck. 
               Say untcay and itshay and uckfay." 

There was an old sculptor named Phidias 
            Whose knowledge of art was invidious. 
                He carved Aphrodite 
                Without any nightie--- 
            Which startled the purely fastidious. 

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