Today's poems [3.19.09]
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There once was a man from Nepal
Whose turds were exceedingly small.
He'd sit in his room
And shit on a spoon
And then flick his turds down the hall.
Said an old lady called Mary Tabott,
"I wish I had teeth in my twat.
For just think" said she,
"how nice it would be
To keep all the pricks that I got."
There was a young lady of Sturky
Who had an affair with a darkie.
The results of their sins
Were quadruplets, not twins,
One black, and two white, and one khaki.
There was a sad prude out in Iowa
Who would say, "Please say it my way:
Do not say fuck,
It don't rhyme with duck.
Say untcay and itshay and uckfay."
There was an old sculptor named Phidias
Whose knowledge of art was invidious.
He carved Aphrodite
Without any nightie---
Which startled the purely fastidious.
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