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Today's jokes [3.8.09]

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   You Can Never Really Go Back
   There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were
   sitting at the
   breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife,
   "Just think, honey,
   we've been married for 50 years."
   "Yeah," she replied, "Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting
   here at this breakfast
   table together."
   "Hmmm," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as
   jaybirds fifty years
   ago this morning."
   "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we?" Whereupon the
   two stripped
   to the buff and sat down at the table.
   "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
   nipples are as hot for you
   now as they were fifty years ago."
   "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and
   the other one's in
   you oatmeal!"
   


1. 




A man calls his family doctor:

man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.

doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help.

man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her. 

2. 




What do the Pope and the Giants have in common?

Both cram 30,000 fans in a stadium and end up saying JESUS CHRIST!!

3. 




Two prisoners were having a chat.
The first one said. "I've go two tickets for the warden's ball, Do you 
want to buy one?"
"No thanks, mate," said the second guy. "I can't dance."
"It's not a dance, mate," said the first prisoner. "It's a raffle!"

4. 




For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was 
volatile.  Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no 
longer a Russian, but had become a Pole.   Thrilled, he told his 

wife, "Thank God !  No more of those freezing Russian 
winters."

5. 



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