Today's jokes [3.8.09]
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You Can Never Really Go Back
There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were
sitting at the
breakfast table that morning when the old gentleman said to his wife,
"Just think, honey,
we've been married for 50 years."
"Yeah," she replied, "Fifty years ago this very day, we were sitting
here at this breakfast
"Hmmm," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as
jaybirds fifty years
ago this morning."
"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we?" Whereupon the
to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
nipples are as hot for you
now as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and
the other one's in
A man calls his family doctor:
man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.
doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help.
man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her.
What do the Pope and the Giants have in common?
Both cram 30,000 fans in a stadium and end up saying JESUS CHRIST!!
Two prisoners were having a chat.
The first one said. "I've go two tickets for the warden's ball, Do you
want to buy one?"
"No thanks, mate," said the second guy. "I can't dance."
"It's not a dance, mate," said the first prisoner. "It's a raffle!"
For many years, the border between Poland and Russia was
volatile. Due to a political shift, a farmer found that he was no
longer a Russian, but had become a Pole. Thrilled, he told his
wife, "Thank God ! No more of those freezing Russian
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