Today's jokes [3.4.09]
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A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for
plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing
alright--but after a few
months he gets "lonely", if you know what I mean. The pig starts to
look more and more
attractive--soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this
poor guy makes an
advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost
bit his leg. One day
the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it
turns out to be a dinghy,
cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman,
unconscious. He drags her
to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back to
health. Finally she is
well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for
saving my life. I don't
know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything,
just name it." The guy
thinks for a minute and says "Would you mind taking my dog for a
The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was
relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he
suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could
respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing
that he wasn't wearing any. She glanced down and said, "Nice design,
does it also come in men's sizes ?
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and
Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys
asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate
us out of house and home."
Why do women get PMS?
THEY JUST FUCKING DO ALRIGHT!?
Gross is having to tuck your hemorrhoid into your sock so you won't step on
it when you walk.
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