Today's jokes [3.25.09]

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A bus filled with politicians was driving through the
countryside one day, on the campaign trail.  The bus driver,
caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and
crashes into the ditch. 
 
    A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and
rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians
he buries them.
 
   The next day, the police come to the farm to question the
man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police
officer. "Were they all dead?"
 
   The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you
know how politicians lie."

Did you hear that Ellen Degeneres has a new line of sneakers "coming 
out"?

They're called "dykeees". They have a longer than normal tongue and you 
can get them off with one finger!

After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband "Was
making love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?"
"Yes, she's dead to!""Was making love to me really the same as making
love to Marilyn Monroe?"

"Yes, she's dead to!"

The congregation was sitting and waiting for the preacher
to began his sermon when two masked men burst into the
church and said "Whoever is not willing to take a bullet
for Jesus better leave now." More than half of the
congregation jumped up and ran out the door. 

The two men took off their masks, sat in the front row
and said, "Okay, Reverend, you can preach now. All the
hyprocrites are gone."

Little Freddie said to Little Johnny, "My dad's tougher than your dad!"
"Oh yeah?" said Little Johnny, "My dad is so tough, he has lightbulbs for
dinner!"
"Really?"
Yeah, the other night I heard him tell my mom, 'Turn out the light, I 
wanna eat it!'"

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