Today's jokes [3.19.09]
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A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can
I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor
said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he
then charged them $32.00.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment,
have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave.
Finally the doctor asked, "Just what exactly are you trying to find out?"
The old man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married
and we can't go to her house. I am married and we can't go to my house.
The Holiday Inn charges $60.00 and the Hilton charges $75.00. We do it here
for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's
Why do blondes drive BMWs?
Because they can spell it.
Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches?
Because they can.
Four Mexicans were in an open truck that had run into the lake.The two
in the front seat escaped unharmed, but the two in the back bed drowned -
they couldn't get the tailgate open!
Definition of Outdoor Barbecuing
It's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do. When a man
volunteers to do such cooking, the following chain of events is
put into motion.
(1) The woman goes to the store.
(2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on
a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it
to the man, who is lounging beside the grill.
(4) The man places the meat on the grill.
(5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is
(7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the
(8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the
(10) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night
off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that
there's just no pleasing some women.
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