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Today's jokes [3.15.09]

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President Clinton to maid: Mam, can you do something about Hillary's room. 
She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes, 
Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away.


The seven kinds of passionate women 

   1.The Optimist 
     - "Yes! Yes! Yes!" 

   2.The Pessimist 
     - "No! No! No!" 

   3.The Confused 
     - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!" 

   4.The Asthmatic 
     - written rendition of gasping 

   5.The Sprinter 
     - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!" 

   6.The Religious 
     - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! 

   7.The Mathematician 
     - "More! More! More! More! 


What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

No one to talk to during orgasm. 


First snake:I hope I'm not poisonous.

Second snake:Why?

First snake:Because I bit my lip!


    Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls
   make it hot by loosening a few buttons. Good girls only own one credit
   card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.
   Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines. Good
   girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could
   do it better. Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a
   strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a
   strand of pearls. Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear
   high heels to bed. Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"


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