Today's jokes [3.14.09]

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A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter
from his mother asking him to send her a current photo
of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let
her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a
photo in half and sends her the top part. 
Later he receives another letter asking him to send a
picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture
in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of the
photo. 
He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the
wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's
eyesight is, and hopes she won't notice.  A few weeks
later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says,
"Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it
makes your nose look short!" 

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party? The cake jumps out of the girl.

    Q: What is the difference between a single 40-year-old
   woman and a single 40-year-old man? A: The 40-year-old woman thinks
   often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.

How to Hunt Elephants -- Math style
 
Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing
out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of
whatever is left.  Professors of mathematics prove the
existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of
an actual elephant as an exercise for one of their graduate
students.

Sent by Alex 

Q: What do men and pantyhose have in common?

A: They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!

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