Today's stories [2.24.09]
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In a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found
in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I
understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in male
"That's correct", responded the prof, going on to add statistical info.
Raising her hand again, the girl asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor
girl’s face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had
inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books
without a word and walked out of class...and never returned. However, as
she was going out the door, the Profs reply was classic... Totally
straight-faced he answered her question, he stated
"It doesn't taste sweet, because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the
tip of your tongue".
A man's penis not only shrinks during cold weather but also
from intense nonsexual excitement like when his favorite team
scores a touchdown.
From a radio program, a true report of a
happening in Michigan, USA. A guy buys a brand new
Jeep Grand Cherokee for $30,000 and has $400+
monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting
and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two
Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the
dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They
drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now,
they want to make some kind of a natural landing
area for the ducks, something for the decoys to
float on. In order to make a hole large enough to
look like something a wandering duck would fly
down and land on, it is going to take a little
more effort than an ice hole drill. Out of the
back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of
dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these
two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration
that if they place the stick of dynamite on the
ice at a location far from where they are standing
(and the new Grand Cherokee), they don't want to
take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run
from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke
with the resulting blast. So, they decide to light
this 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned
the vehicle, the beer,the guns and the dog? Yes, the
dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for
retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner.
You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of
doggy speed on the ice and captures the stick of
dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the
time it hits the ice. The two men yell, scream,
wave arms and wonder what to do now. The dog,
cheered on, keeps coming. One of the guys grabs
the shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is
loaded with 8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop
a Black Lab. The dog stops for a moment,slightly
confused but continues on. Another shot and this
time the dog, still standing, becomes really
confused & of course scared,thinking these two
Nobel Prize winners have gone insane. He takes off
to find cover, (with the now really short fuse
burning on the stick of dynamite).... under the
brand new Cherokee. BOOM ! Dog and Cherokee are
blown to bits and sink to the bottom of the lake
in a very large hole, leaving the two candidates
for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing
there with this "I can't believe this happened"
look on their faces. The insurance company says
that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of
explosives is not covered. He had yet to make the
first of those $400+ a month payments.
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