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Today's poems [2.5.09]

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               There was an old soldier named Schmitt 
               Took a trip to the can for to shit. 
                    To his epic despair 
                    No paper was there. 
               So he simply continued to sit. 


A star-gazing fellow named Flipper 
            Had a girl try to open his zipper. 
                As he stared at Orion, 
                The young girl was cryin' 
            As she found it was NOT a Big Dipper. 


A gardener named Kenneth McDeare
Likes plants more than women, we fear.
"He's hardly perennial."
Say folks who know Kenny well.
"He only comes up once a year" 


There was a young man, name of Snyder, 
            Who took out a girl just to ride her. 
                She allowed him to feel 
                From her neck to her heel, 
            But never would let him inside her. 



I just got finished testing in school.
Now taking a nap I start to drool.
It drips off my chin
As my dreams begin.
My peers laugh; I feel like a fool!


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