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Today's poems [2.22.09]

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There was a young man from Racine
Who was weaned at the age of eighteen.
He said, "I'll admit
There's no milk in the tit,
But think of the fun it has been."


1. 





            Thank God for the Duchess of Gloucester, 
            She obliges all who accost her. 
                She welcomes the prick 
                Of Tom, Harry, or Dick, 
            Or Baldwin, or even Lord Astor. 

2. 




DR. SUESS ON PCS

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, 
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, 
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, 
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, 
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, 
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash, 
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house, 
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, 
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol, 
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall, 
and you screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, 
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, 
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, 
and the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk, 
then you have to flash your memory, and you'll want to RAM your ROM. 
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom.

Copyright  Gene Ziegler

Email: Gene_Ziegler@Cornell.edu



3. 




A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
    And they argued all night
    Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.

4. 




Said a pretty young lady from Croft,
Whilst amusing herself in the loft,
"Salami or wurst
Is what I choose first,
But with baloney I know I've been boffed" 

5. 



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