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Today's jokes [2.28.09]

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What do you call 20 lawyers skydiving?

Perfect setup for skeet shooting.

1. 




What has two legs and bleeds? 

     Half a dog. 

2. 




A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the
bartender looks up and says " where the hell did you get that thing?
The Parrot replies " Over in Africa, there's millions of them " !!!!

3. 




   Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American
   Indians. After a
   tour of a reservation, she asked a Brave,who had only one feather in
   his headdress, "Why
   the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses?" His
   reply was, "Me have only
   one sqaw, me have only one feather." She asked another Brave, feeling
   the first fellow
   was only joking. This Brave had four feathers in his headdress. He
   replied, "Ugh; me
   have four feathers because me sleep with four squaws." Still not
   convinced the number of
   feathers indicated the number of sqaws involved, she decided to
   interview the Chief.
   Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to
   say, amused Ms.
   Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in
   your headdress?"
   The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me fuck-em
   all. Big, small, fat,
   tall. Me fuck-em all." Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be
   hung!" The Chief
   replied, "You damned right, me hung. Big like buffalo, long like
   snake." Ms. Walters
   cried, "You don't have to be so goddamned hostile!" The Chief replied,
   "Hoss-style, dog-
   style, wolf-style, any-style, me fuck-em all!" With tears in her eyes,
   Ms. Walters cried,
   "Oh dear." The Chief said, "No deer. Me no fuck deer. Asshole too high
   and fuckers run
   too fast. No fuck deer!"
   


4. 




How do you turn a Fox into a Pit Bull?

Marry her !

Sent by Bob

5. 



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