Today's jokes [2.1.09]
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Why do elephants have 4 feet?
-Because 4 inches isn't enough.
The Company Commander and the 1st Sgt, were in the field.
As they hit the sack for the night, the 1SG said: "Sir, look up
into the sky and tell me what you see."
The CO said "I see millions of stars."
1st Sgt.: "And what does that tell you, sir?"
CO: Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells
me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you, Top?"
1st Sgt.: "Well sir, it tells me that somebody stole our tent."
Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his
left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache
and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hour
later Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms.
"I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms."
"Yeah, I went to a dozen drug stores, but have you ever
tried asking for aspirin with a tic in your eye?"
The doctor took Bill into the room and said,
"Bill, I have some good news and some bad news."
Bill said, "Give me the good news."
"They're going to name a disease after you."
Greetings prospective White House interns! This year, our
program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and
brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job.
We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet! Why, you might
be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet
Check this out:
* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of
the hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
Sound like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former
intern: "I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job
answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the
president. ...Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just
fantastic."- M. Lewinsky, Beverly Hills, Calif. As you can see, being
a White House intern is more than long hours, hot debates and touchy
national issues. Still interested? Fill out this information form and
send it to the White House at firstname.lastname@example.org
Measurements: (required for medical purposes)
How many beers it takes to get you... ...Giggly: ...Drunk: ...Hot:
...To lie to a federal prosecutor:...
You've always considered the White House: a) a monument to democracy
b) the place where great leaders meet c) vaguely erotic d) extremely
Hillary Clinton is a(n): a) model wife and mother b) icon of late 20th
century femininity c) an obstacle d) inappropriate companion for the
leader of the free world
You've always wanted to know more about the President's: a) Israeli
policies b) childhood in Hope, Ark. c) romper room d) "monument to
My social life as an intern would likely consist of: a) hitting
Georgetown bars with the other interns b) reading, study c) late
nights working at the White House d) late nights working the White
Score 1 point for each a, 2 for each b, 3 for each c, 4 for each d.
Scores of 16 can start tomorrow. Scores of 12 and above, please call
soon, Uncle Sam wants you.
*Please feel free to forward this form to anyone you know who might be
interested in this program. The White House is an equal opportunity
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