Today's stories [12.9.09]

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The Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the 
posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.

She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya 
from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in 
Columbia."

The cop put away his summons book and pen, and said, 
"Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."

After my recent breakup and the hell I went through, 
I quickly dropped a few pounds. Not quite Ally-McBeal- 
thin but close. I ran into a friend of mine who was surprised at 
the quick change and commented, "Damn, you've lost a lot of 
weight". My response to him,  "Yep, lost 220 pounds of fat 
German bastard".

Doc and his wife were splitting up the debts and assets. The
main asset, of course, was the house.  My ex's truly serious
suggestion:  "Since the house payment is a little more than
the credit card payments, I'll do you a favor and take the
house and the house payment and you can take the credit card
debt."

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