Today's poems [12.23.09]

Vote for the poem that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to poem categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your poem reading.

There once was a vampire named Mable
Who's periods were very unstable
By the light of the moon 
She whipped out a spoon
And drank herself under the table

Sent by Matt

Bob, the zookeeper from Bath,
was known to have trained a giraffe,
to sit on its knees
and stay still with ease
while poked with his very long staff


Sent by Dan

Phil, a young plumber from Rhyl
was first to try out the male pill,
but to Lisa's suprise,
his spunk didn't rise,
and neither received any thrill.

Sent by Dan

Jack and jill went up the hill,
to smoke some marajuana,
jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked jill if she wanna.
jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun,
but stupid jill,
forgot the pill,
and now they have a son

Sent by jessica

Clare, Clare I'm so aware,
how you flutter your eyes at me. 
But what about my wife Sue? 
I really dont know what to do.
Should I run or try and screw?

Do you mean it?
You're such a tease.
You have a boyfriend
but I don't like threes.

The other men at my work,
like you too, you're such a perk,
jerking off their trouser snakes,
at your photo, during breaks.


Sent by Dan

By voting you are helping select today's best poem. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best poems to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Quotes Today's Funny Pic   December '09 Poems Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31