Today's jokes [12.10.09]

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Little Johnny came running into the house and asked,
"Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No", said his mom, "of course not."
Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his
friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"

An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a 
car pulls over next to him. 

"If you get in the car," the driver says, "I'll give you $10 and a 
piece of candy." 

The boy refuses and keeps on walking. 

A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man 
driving the car pulls over again. "How about $20 and two pieces 
of candy?"

The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking. 

Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road. 
"OK," he says, "this is my final offer. I'll give you $50 and all 
the candy you can eat." 

The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in. "Look," he 
says to the driver. "You bought the Chevrolet, Dad. You'll have 
to live with it!"

I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for 
parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie, and he 
said we could discuss it tonight in a "National Town Meeting." 

Vicar: Whats that you're doing, Tommy?
Tommy: Sticking bangers up frogs arses, Vicar.
Vicar: Rectum, Tommy.
Tommy: Blows 'em to fucking pieces, Vicar! 

How can you tell if your date really digs oral sex?


She hikes up her skirt every time you yawn.

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