Today's jokes [12.1.09]

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Sarah was a curious thirteen year old girl. "Mommy," she said, "I'd like 
you to answer one question." "Very good," replied her mother, "I was 
wondering when you would become curious about birds, flowers and bees." 
"It's not that," said the girl. "I know all about screwing. What I would 
like to know is how to make lasagna." 

Fellow 1 : "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the 
year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not 
only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he 
was right about that too." 

Fellow 2 : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?" 

Fellow 1 : "A judge told him."

What are the worst 3 years of a blondes life?

The 1st grade. 

There is 2 fags walking down the beach. They are holding hands and
kicking the sand with their feet. One happens to kick a lamp that is
lying buried in the sand. He pick it up and starts to clean it off.
All of a sudden a Genie comes out of the lamp.

Genie, " Man, I don't believe it. I have stuck in that bottle for 2
thousand years and  the first person to come along and find me is a
fag. I am suppose to give you 3 wishes but I just can't do it. I won't
even give you 2. I will give you one wish and that is it. What will it
be."

The 2 fags are excited about getting their wish but couldn't come up
with what they wanted to wish for on such short notice.

Fag1 says," Could you give us just a little time to think about it?  I
mean one wish we need a little time."

The Genie looks down and says, "Alright you can take as long as you
want but I am not going to stay here until you come up with it. I just
can't stand the sight of you two. Whenever youmake me your mind just
wish for it and it will done."

At that moment the Genie grabs his bottle and flys off into the sky.
Well the two fags decide that they will go back to the motel room and
decide on what they will wish for. Once they got back their emotions
took over and they starting doing all that fag stuff. 

Right as they were getting into it, the door of their room gets busted
down and 6 men in white sheets come in. They grab the fags and throw a
rope around their necks. 

Fag1 looks at Fag2 and says, " You know this might be a good time use
our wish."

Fag2 says, "I already made it."

Fag1 " What the hell did you wish for?"

Fag2  " Well, I wish that we were hung like two niggers."

A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in 
the school play. "What part?" the mother asked.
"I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. 
"Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!" 

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