Today's quotes [11.17.09]

Vote for the quote that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes. Also, links to quote categories and "Send to Friend" will open in a new window, so as not to interrupt your quote reading.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Hi.  I'm here to pick up the Pope's Superbowl tickets -
   Ave.  Hic adsum ad tesseras pontificis maximi Colosseo Maximo tollendas.

"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate
it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it
and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for
seventy-five cents." 

     - Billiam Coronel 

'A women's work is never done by men'

Graffito

   Here's one seen above a urinal:
   look up
   look up
   [even higher on the wall]
   keep looking up
   [on the ceiling]
   Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!


  

By voting you are helping select today's best quote. This helps us provide you with better quality humor in the future, as well as to select the best quotes to send in our daily best humor mailing.

But wait! Don't forget to read Today's Jokes Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Funny Pic   November '09 Quotes Issues: S M T W Th F St 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30