Today's poems [11.3.09]

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Hey Masturbater
 
 (To The Tune Of Macarena) 
 
 Sitting in my house and I know that I'm alona, 
 Feeling kinda horny, got a jingle in my bona, 
 Go and grab a Penthouse it's the one with Sharon Stona,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I go a little faster and it's feeling kind of nicea,
 Once is not enough so I have to do it twicea, 
 If you wanna spank the monkey I can give you good advicea,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I use some baby oil or a little vaselina, 
 Laying down a towel so I keep my carpet cleana, 
 Never shake my hand cos you don't know where its beena,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 I do it in the car when I'm driving down the streeta,
 One hand on the wheel and the other on my meata, 
 I can't get out the car cos I'm sticking to the seata,
 Hey Masturbata!!! 
 
 Since I was a kid I have been a mastubater, 
 Choke the chicken, hum the knob, squeezing the tomata,
 I've looked at Miss November, now I'm gonna decorata,
 Hey Masturbata!!!! 


 Sent by Paul

There once was a eunuch of Roylem, 
               Took two eggs to the cook and said, "Boil 'em. 
                    I'll sling 'em beneath 
                    My inadequate sheath, 
               And slip into the harem and foil 'em." 

As the elevator car left our floor,
Big Sue caught her tits in the door;
She yelled a good deal,
But had they been real,
She'd have yelled considerably more.

               There was a young man from Bangore 
               Who was tired and said to his whore, 
                    "If you'll only roll over 
                    I'll get my dog Rover, 
               And you can have six inches more." 

                    There was a young lady who came from Decatur,
                            
                    Sang like a bird in a movie theater.
                            An alley cat heard
                            Her sing like a bird,
                            
                    So he snuck in her room and he ate her.
                            

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