Today's poems [11.12.09]

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A golfer named Sandy MacFarr 
               Went to bed with a Hollywood star 
                    When he first saw her gash he 
                    Cried, "Quick, goot muh mashie! 
               Uh thunk uh c'n muk it in par." 

               There once was a fellow named Siegel 
               Who attempted to bugger a beagle, 
                    But the mettlesome bitch 
                    Turned and said with a twitch, 
               "It's fun, but you know it's illegal." 

A sailor indulged in coitus 
               With a cow of the genus of Cetus. 
                    Piscatologists thundered, 
                    Biologists wondered, 
               At the anchor tattooed on the fetus. 

There was an old maid from Bruton 
               Who had the bad habit of pootin'. 
                    Her sphincter was weak, 
                    Her wind she couldn't keep--- 
               This tootin' old spinster from Bruton. 

                    A studious professor named Nestor
                            
                    Bet a whore all his books he could best her.
                            But she drained out his balls
                            And skipped up the walls,
                            
                    Beseeching poor Nestor to rest her.
                            

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