Today's poems [11.11.09]

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There was a bluestocking in Florence 
Wrote anti-sex pamphlets in torrents, 
Till a Spanish grandee 
Got her off with his knee, 
And she burned all her works with abhorrence.

A musical lady from China
Stretched catgut across her vagina
The result of this trick
(With a well-rosined prick)
Was _Toccata and Fugue in D minor_

There once was a young man from Virtualand, 
               Who traded real life for a wedding band, 
                    He signed onto the net, 
                    His betrothed got upset, 
               And she lopped off his link @ the ampersand. 

            There was a young man from Vancouver 
            Whose existence had lost its prime mover. 
                But its loss he supplied 
                With a piece of bull's hide, 
            Two pairs, and the bag from the Hoover. 

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

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