Today's jokes [11.5.09]

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Q. What did Adam say to Eve ?
A. You'd better stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets.

There were two cats that enjoyed running together. 
The first cat was english, called One-two-three.
The other was french and called Un-deux-trois. 
One day when they were running they came to a huge
river. The cats took a large run up and leapt as
far as they could. Which cat drowned? 
     Un-deux-trois cat sank 
     (un deux trois quatre cinq) 

Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome, 
a good lover and a stimulating partner?

A. In the pages of a romance novel. 

The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to
   the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board.
   
   When she had finished, the husband's lawyer rose to his feet and
   coolly replied, "Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing
   of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed
   'bored'."

Q: What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?

A: Wipe it off and say you're sorry.

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