Today's jokes [11.30.09]

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   An Unusual Ailment
   
   A man and a woman are riding next to each other in first class. The
   man sneezes, pulls out his wang and wipes the tip off. The woman can't
   believe what she just saw and decides she is hallucinating.
   A few minutes pass. The man sneezes again. He pulls out his wang and
   wipes the tip off. The woman is about to go nuts. She can't believe
   that such a rude person exists. A few minutes pass. The man sneezes
   yet again. He takes his wang out and wipes the tip off.
   The woman has finally had enough. She turns to the man and says,
   "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've removed your penis
   from your pants to wipe it off! What the hell kind of degenerate are
   you?"
   The man replies, "I am sorry to have disturbed you, ma'am. I have a
   very rare condition such that when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." The
   woman then says, "Oh, how strange. What are you taking for it?" The
   man looks at her and says, "Pepper."

This guy was walking down a street in Texas and this hooker 
says, "Say, wanna have a good time? We do things in a big 
way down here in Texas."
"Sure," he says and they were off to the nearest motel. She 
takes off her clothes and he keeps staring at her.
She says, "Is this the first pussy you seen since you crawled 
out of one?"
The guy says, "No, just the first one I've seen big enough to 
crawl back into."

"I can't find a cause for your illness," the doctor said. "Frankly, 
I think it's due to drinking."

"In that case," replied his blonde patient, "I'll come back when 
you are sober."

A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a
fortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he
went inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazed
into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children."
"That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father
of THREE children." The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU
think."

Work Environment: 
(Wise manager) + (Wise employee) = PROFIT 
(Wise manager) + (Dumb employee) = PRODUCTION
(Dumb manager) + (Wise employee) = PROMOTION 
(Dumb manager) + (Dumb employee) = OVERTIME

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